Under Seige.

If you have spent any time reading my blogs you know that flying things freak me out. Especially birds. They are unpredictable and fly about haphazardly as if they own the whole damn airspace.

Picture, if you will, a quiet morning of catching up on blogs and news while sitting at the kitchen table which is located directly in front of the kitchen window. A hot cup of coffee to my left. One cat sitting curled up on a blanket on the chair beside me to my right. The other cat curled up on my newspaper at the opposite end of the table from me. Such a peaceful morning.

Smokey, the other cat, is currently employed as a window stalker. He spies birds, cats and/or dogs outside the windows and will race from window to window stalking. He takes his job very seriously and if we yell for him to come *get it* he will arrive on the scene very quickly and get to the task of stalking whatever we point out to him.

This morning he is watching the birds that flit in and out of the yard, dancing in the sun and singing their chirpy songs. All is well.

Until....

I see something out of the corner of my left eye and then

BLAM!!!

I quickly look and see a bird flying away from the window after having HIT the window. WTF? I think he was trying to take me out. He didn't hit the side where Smokey was doing his stalking but rather on my side. GAH!

The birds have gone from being content to eating the little bits of seed and bugs in my front yard to trying to take me out! HOW is this good, I ask you? I am afraid to go outside now. {which I did, btw, to make sure that the bird I saw leaving the scene of the fly-by was actually the bird that hit the window. I hoped and prayed that I would not get out on the front porch and find a dead or half dead bird. Thank goodness that was not the case.

The bird attacked! I spilled my coffee all over the table but skillfully missed spilling it on my computer, cell phone and tv clicker. Smokey was quite bothered and now runs for safety if I move about the house too quickly. Kitten is still on the blanket covered chair, sleeping and blissfully unaware of the danger we were all in 15 minutes ago.

Lest you think that I have recently cleaned my windows and that is why the bird flew into it I assure you that no window washing has occurred. In addition to that there are some stupid protection and alarm stickers stuck to the damn thing so I don't think that bird, to be referred to as the assassin, thought it was just more outside. That bird was doing nothing more than trying to take me out.

Send food.

I am being held hostage by assassin birds and flying things freak me out!