Thursday Thirteen Presents:

This week on ER!

1. Initial heart rate - 147 {umm. that's really fast. ugh - This morning it is 94. Still kinda high but way better than last night.}
2. Looking in his throat -(graphic photo click at your own risk} --> that's pretty gross
3. Doctors seen - 5
4. Bags of fluid - 3 {3000 cc}
5. Tests run - 2
6. Hours spent in ER - 5.5
7. Days sick - 9 {counting today}
8. Visits to Urgent care prior to ER visit - 2
9. Nurses attending - 2
10. Number of times Blondie got lost - 2 {on her way to the cafeteria and on her way back. *sigh*}
11. Total Drug Count:7. {ER - 3:Ibuprofen, Steroids, Pain meds. Upon departing ER - 2: Pain meds, Antiemetic. Urgent Care - 2: Antibiotics, cough meds. which btw he didn't even HAVE a cough so WTF, mate?}
12. Highest fever run in the last 9 days 102.9
13. Diagnosis: "So your mono stat came back negative...but we still think you have mono!" apparently the test isn't 100% accurate. :-/

Thursday Thirteen.

Blondie's Morning by the Numbers

1. 3 AM - The first time I got up this morning.
2. 5.3 - pounds lost
3. 7 - number of iPhone *scrabble* games I have lost.
4. 9:30 AM - The second time I got up this morning.
5. 10 - number of *scrabble* games I have played on my iPhone
6. 11:33 - number of total workout hours
7. $11.85 - Amount my recycling was worth.
8. 17 - items on my grocery list
9. 27 - My Wii Fit Age today
10. 29 - {less than} days until Rudy is in CA.
11. 36 - items in my grocery cart
12. 61.3° - Current temperature
13. 210 - Calories in a Grande non-fat no whip cinnamon dolce latte

Thursday Thirteen Presents:

The 12 Days of Christmas

1. Partridge in a Pear Tree, $159
2. Two Turtle Doves, $55.98
3. Three French Hens, $45
4. Four Calling Birds), $599.96
5. Five Gold Rings, $499.95
6. Six Geese a-Laying, $150
7. Seven Swans a-Swimming, $5,250
8. Eight Maids a-Milking, $58
9. Nine Ladies Dancing (per performance), $5,473.07
10. 10 Lords a-Leaping (per performance), $4,413.61
11. 11 Pipers Piping (per performance), $2,284.80
12. 12 Drummers Drumming (per performance), $2,475.20
13. True cost of the 12 Days of Christmas in 2008 = $21,465.56 or $87,402.81 for the True Love repeating all of the song's verses.

Thursday Thirteen.

13 things about the kid.

1. He is 19 years old today.
2. He has his DMV Ambulance Drivers Certification.
3. He never ceases to make me laugh.
4. He has always had cute dimples.
5. His last baby word was hostible {hospital}. I refused to correct it because I knew in time he would figure it out.
6. He is a licensed EMT.
7. He named his red truck Chuck the Truck.
8. He is on his 3rd iPod in 4 years.
9. His room is painted red and he loves it. {so do I. It turned out so much nicer than I ever thought it would}
10. He has his Guard Card which allows him to work as a security guard should he decide he wants to.
11. He refers to his room as his cave.
12. He can often be heard saying either *the game* or *that's what she said*.
13. He is a very caring and helpful young man and I am very proud of him.

Happy 19th Birthday, Mr. Man!
Love you!
Mean it!

Thursday 13 Presents:

The 12 Days of Christmas

1. Partridge in a Pear Tree, $220
2. Two Turtle Doves, $55
3. Three French Hens, $30
4. Four Calling Birds (canaries), $600
5. Five Gold Rings, $350
6. Six Geese a-Laying, $240
7. Seven Swans a-Swimming, $5,600
8. Eight Maids a-Milking, $52
9. Nine Ladies Dancing (per performance), $4,759
10. 10 Lords a-Leaping (per performance), $4,414
11. 11 Pipers Piping (per performance), $2,285
12. 12 Drummers Drumming (per performance), $2,475
13. True cost of the 12 Days of Christmas in 2008 = $21,080 or $86,609 for the True Love repeating all of the song's verses.

*************

December 14, 1972

My dearest darling John:

Who ever in the whole world would dream of getting a real Partridge in a Pear Tree? How can I ever express my pleasure. Thank you a hundred times for thinking of me this way.

My love always, Agnes

December 15, 1972

Dearest John:

Today the postman brought your very sweet gift. Just imagine two turtle doves. I'm just delighted at your very thoughtful gift. They are just adorable.

All my love, Agnes

December 16, 1972

Dear John:

Oh! Aren't you the extravagant one. Now I must protest. I don't deserve such generosity, three French hens. They are just darling but I must insist, you've been too kind.

All my love, Agnes

December 17, 1972

Dear John:

Today the postman delivered four calling birds. Now really, they are beautiful, but don't you think enough is enough. You are being too romantic.

Affectionately, Agnes

December 18, 1972

Dearest John:

What a surprise. Today the postman delivered five golden rings, one for every finger. You're just impossible, but I love it. Frankly, all those birds squawking were beginning to get on my nerves.

All my love, Agnes

December 19, 1972

Dear John:

When I opened the door today there were actually six geese laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again huh? These geese are huge. Where will I ever keep them? The neighbors are complaining and I can't sleep through the racket. Please stop.

Cordially, Agnes

December 20, 1972

John:

What's with you and those freaking birds?? Seven swans a swimming. What kind of damn joke is this? There's bird poop all over the house and they never stop the racket. I can't sleep at night and I'm a nervous wreck. It's not funny. So stop those freaking birds.

Sincerely, Agnes

December 21, 1972

O.K. Buster:

I think I prefer the birds. What the hell am I going to do with 8 maids a milking? It's not enough with all those birds and 8 maids a milking, but they had to bring their damn cows. There is manure all over the lawn and I can't move in my own house. Just lay off me, smartass.

Agnes

December 22, 1972

Hey Shithead:

What are you? Some kind of sadist? Now there's nine pipers playing. And Christ do they play. They've never stopped chasing those maids since they got here yesterday morning. The cows are getting upset and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. What am I going to do? The neighbors have started a petition to evict me.

You'll get yours! Agnes

December 23, 1972

You rotten prick:

Now there's ten ladies dancing. I don't know why I call those sluts ladies. They've been balling those pipers all night long. Now the cows can't sleep and they've got diarrhea. My living room is a river of shit. The Commissioner of Buildings has subpoenaed me to give cause why the building shouldn't be condemned.

I'm calling the police on you! Agnes

December 24, 1972

Listen Fuckhead:

What's with those eleven lords a leaping on those maids and ladies? Some of those broads will never walk again. Those pipers ran through the maids and have been committing sodomy with the cows. All twenty-three of the birds are dead. They've been trampled to death in the orgy. I hope you're satisfied, you rotten vicious swine.

Your sworn enemy, Agnes

December 25, 1972

Dear Sir:

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, Miss Agnes McHolstein. The destruction, of course, was total. All correspondence should come to our attention. If you should attempt to reach Miss McHolstein at Happy Dale Sanitarium, the attendants have been instructed to shoot you on sight. With this letter please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially, Law Offices of Badger, Bender and Chole