Once Upon a Cheater.

I am tempted. Sorely tempted. Some days I obsess over it. What am I talking about, you ask? Let me tell you a little story.

About 24 years ago CS had an affair. An affair with someone I considered to be a close friend. She was CS's partner in the Ambulance Service they both worked for. 24 hour shifts. Many of them. Down time. Lots of time to get busy, if you know what I mean.

I have only known about the affair for about 9 years. He told me in one of his *Come to Jesus* moments. Except he didn't really tell me but rather wrote it out in an email and sent it to me. Coward that he was {and is to this day}, he couldn't tell me to my face.

They slept together repeatedly for over 6 months while I was struggling to find my place with a new baby, in a new city, which was 2 hours away from my family. While I was literally working my ass off obsessively and daily to rid my body of the extra weight I had been blessed with while pregnant with our first child. Did I mention that this baby was less than a year old? Yeah, she was. Lovely, yes? Can it get worse? Oh, of course it can.

After reading his email I had questions. They leaked out slowly. How long did they sleep together? {more than 6 months} Did the two of them laugh at her husband and myself when we went out together as couples? {he shrugged} Did you sleep with her in MY house? {his response to that was yes, but only in the living room. Anyone buying that? I am guessing that they fucked in every room in my house just because they could.}

Disgusting. When did he find time to schtupp her in my house, you ask? Well I can answer that very easily. During one of my weekends with the baby visiting my parents two hours away while he was *on duty*.

When he started working with a female partner I had reservations but I trusted him. I remember how he would often comment about the size of her bazoombas. They were fairly large and gave her a lot of back problems. I figured he was commenting because she was complaining. I recall more than once hearing him say "they are huge, I don't even know what I would do with all that." He sure was working it to cover his ass, wasn't he? And I was too trusting and stupid to see what was going on. Of course he would look me straight in my eyes and tell me no, of course he wasn't sleeping with her. He is a pretty good liar. He should be in Hollywood making a living as an actor.

While he didn't make many excuses he did try to get me to see it his way. You know, the old, tired, you were busy with the baby and leaving me alone, blah blah blah. I told him that unless his dick just fell into her this was a deliberate act on his part and there was nothing in the world I could have done or did do that *made* him do anything.

How many others did he sleep with? I am going to say that there were probably at least two others plus the little chickie he started sleeping with soon after {or was it before???} he left that first time in the fall of 2000. One of them I refer to as Donna Ambulance Co. She was the company slut. When he first started working there {with a male partner} he would come home telling me how Donna would come up to their out-of-the-way station and he was pretty sure his partner was schtupping her. I am pretty certain CS was too.

Then there was his *best friend*. Female. He didn't have a problem telling me that this woman thought he was all that and that she would date him. I think he slept with her. He, of course, denied it but I bet he did. Why would I believe him after reading what I did? I fully believe that once one makes that choice to be so horribly deceptive and disgusting and be unfaithful it will obviously be easier to do the next time. And the next time. You know the old adage: once a cheater, always a cheater. It most definitely applies here.


When I first found out, after the shock wore off, I wanted to tell her ex-husband. Yeah, not surprisingly they are also divorced. I didn't tell him because I was afraid he would kick CS's ass. He probably would have. As much as I abhorred what CS did, he was still my children's father and having him beat the eff up probably wasn't in their best interest.

But I digress.

That brings us to today. Facebook is odd. I mostly don't get it but perhaps that is because I am there under a pseudonym because I really have no desire to be in touch with those from my past. I am a spy. You all know this by now. Recently I decided to look her up on FB. There she was in all her glory. I want to contact her. I want to tell her that I know. THAT I KNOW. I want to tell her how betrayed I felt and still feel. That someone I cared about so much would do such a thing. If I do this will I feel some peace having had my say? Do I care if she doesn't care? I don't think I do. Will she apologize or will she be full of excuses. Again, unless his dick just fell into her......


Discuss.